At long last, the shameless speaker, Patricia Etteh has stepped down and has been replaced by Hon. Dimeji Bankole of Ogun State. As usual, he has promised vigorous debate and to act properly. But will this be the case?
Here is Reuben Abati’s opinion piece in Guardiand Newspapers of Friday, November 2nd.
Etteh-tainment
By Reuben Abati
“SOMEBODY should do a home video on Patricia Olubunmi Etteh’s story” “Or a stage play” “Absolutely. It is perfect material for a dramatist.”
“Such a pity I can’t find the time to do fiction. I would have loved to do a special copy for posterity. Hopefully, some day, someone will find the Etteh material useful for a play script or a movie.”
“I have a ready title: Woman of Ikire”
“Why Ikire? I believe even the people of Ikire are embarrassed that their daughter has brought them so much disgrace”
“Okay: How about The fall of a Speaker?”
“My friend, can you be a bit more imaginative?”
” Okay. Etekete will be a good title then. Perfect in fact”
“Except that there is a copyright on that. It has already been used by Segun Gbadegesin in The Nation.”
“Yeah. I read him. He said Etteh yi a lo lau/Bo gbe ina kari, lau/Bo wo ewu eje, lau/Etteh yi a lo”
“And the woman is gone, She is gone. It is a triumph for civil society.”
“The Presidency says it is a triumph for the rule of law”
“Except that most of the people using that term don’t really know what it means. The way they are mouthing rule of law, rule of law, these days, you would think it is some strange formula or a branch of rocket science. And if you ask me, I would say the rule of law ought to be given. Nobody should contemplate the misrule of law. I am in fact amused when people say that President Yar’Adua ’s main achievement is the rule of law. When I was much younger and we learning how to dance, we were taught to move quick, quick, quick, slow, slow, quick, quick. But Yar’Adua is just doing slow, slow, slow, slow slow, slow, slow.”
“Let us give the man his due credit. If the Etteh saga had occurred under Baba, I can bet that Etteh will still be in office today.
“No. She was bound to go. The opposition was too strong. But I just hope that she and her sponsors would have learnt the right lessons. Because if they do not, then we are in very serious trouble.”
“We must thank members of the Integrity Group for their resilience, for their vigilance.”
“Civil society too. All the forces in civil society who stood up to say that Nigerians expect a certain minimum standard of conduct from their leaders: probity, integrity and accountability.”
“And decency, please. We have to keep insisting that our leaders should act decently. Look there are too may people in high places in this country who do not know that there is something called shame in the dictionary.”
“That woman broke all the codes”
“That is the problem with the reign of Peter’s principle in Nigerian politics”
“Peter’s principle?”
“Yes, Peter’s principle. When people are promoted beyond their level of competence.”
“No be Baba cause am?”
“I hear Baba was not alone in the management of that matter”
“Which matter?”
“The same matter that we are discussing”
“I think Peter’s principle should become Patricia’s principle. Beats me how a hair dresser made it to one of the topmost positions in the country.”
“This is Nigeria my brother. There are so many square pegs in round holes. Have you not seen graduates of chemistry prescribing drugs in hospitals; and graduates of religion running oil companies?”
“Etteh’s exit is worth celebrating. One lesson that has been passed across is that persons in leadership positions cannot just behave as they wish. They have to conform with basic rules of morality. They must act right, do things properly and have the fear of God.”
“You know that woman lied till the very end.”
“Her Deputy played smart. Babangida Nguroje. It was Etteh that took all the flak. He simply stayed in the shadows.”
“You no hear im name? Maradona. But in any case, a Deputy is a spare tyre.”
“Another lesson in the whole saga is that the people should never be taken for granted. Etteh and her Deputy did not want to leave. But the Nigerian people stood their ground. They spoke with one voice that it is indecent for a public official to try to renovate a building with over N200 million, buy cars, furnish an official residence and ask for a body massager in addition”
“You know when I heard that bit about body massager, I was angry. Body massager for N90 plus million. I could provide the same services free of charge and I will do a better job than a machine!”
“Craze dey worry you”
“Person wey craze dey for Aro”
“There are more mad people on the streets and in government than there are in psychiatric hospitals. That is what you don’t know Look psychiatrists talk about bipolar disorders, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety neurosis, sometimes you don’t know what is worrying some people.”
“I don’t get your drift”
“I hear the woman wept”
“Even our Lord wept”
“And Jesus wept”
“And Patricia wept”
“Etekete”
“Etteh-tainment”
“Candidly I think the people at Ebinpejo lane should do a movie on this”
“If the marketer at Ebinpejo lane won’t act, then may be whoever is at Iweka street, Onitsha”
“You sef. You don kolo.”
“I like the kind of messages that are showing up in the public domain these days. At least, politicians now know that they can’t just get rid of their opponents by hook or crook and expect to get away with such impunity. A tribunal or a court of law can reverse the decision and do justice”
“But now that Etteh is gone, I hope the lawmakers will settle down and do some work for the Nigerian people. Each one of them has collected over N60 million in the past three months, all for doing nothing.”
“One of them actually said so”
“Etteh’s disgrace is not just about Patricia Etteh, it is a comment on the political leadership elite and in particular the Peoples Democratic Party, and the quality of representation in the present National Assembly”
“Every National Assembly that we have had since 1999 looks like a bad copy of a familiar one”
“We may still witness more interesting episodes. Something tells me that the Etteh syndrome is not yet over.”
“But one point has been made and that should serve as a lesson again to other public officials that public appointment should be about service not self enrichment. Etteh was so much into herself, her selfishness infuriated me”
“That is why she is a hair dresser”
“In her resignation letter, she even lied to Nigerians. She said she was resigning in the interest of democracy and Nigeria. When did democracy and Nigeria become so important to her?”
“Nguroje said he had to resign in order to move Nigeria forward.”
“I agree. Nigeria is better off without those two. The Etteh saga brought Nigeria to a standstill. Even the 2008 Budget could not be presented to the House. It had to wait. Hopefully, the country can now move forward”
“You know the way my mind is working?”
“How is it working?”
“The way my mind is working…”
“Be careful. Too many people have heart attack these days, and I hear when you overwork your heart, something could just snap and you are a dead man.”
“I think Patricia Etteh owes Nigerians an apology.”
“Absolutely”
“She needs to show that she is contrite. She needs to admit that she conducted herself in a manner that was less than honourable. I get the impression that she still doesn’t get the point. She is adamant. She is still behaving like a victim whereas she should be very sorry indeed.”
“She says the media has never said anything nice about her.”
“The media is not a propaganda arm of the National Assembly, please”
“But she says she loves all journalists”
“She doesn’t need to love us. Let her read newspapers”
“You think she doesn’t read newspapers?”
“She behaves like someone who does not read newspapers. Because if she does, she would have offered to step aside immediately the Idoko report was submitted. And if she did, she may have attracted some sympathy which could have worked in her favour.”
“But all the papers were abusing her.”
“It is the duty of the media to stand by the truth and to set agenda and act as the conscience of society”
“I think Etteh is a disgrace to her gender. The first woman to serve as Speaker of the House of Reps and in less than three months she blew the chance of the womenfolk.”
“Gender is too strong a word in this matter. This is not about gender. It is all about Patricia Etteh and her own choices. Whatever has happened to her or whatever she has done has nothing to do with Nigerian women. Don’t forget that a lot of women criticised her conduct. Even the National Association of Beauticians joined the Labour Congress to protest at the doorsteps of the National Assembly. Before she finally agreed to resign, some women knelt down before her and begged her to throw in the towel”
“But what kind of system produces her type? She is out of office but we have to worry about the system that throws up her type and empowers them beyond their level of competence”
“It is the Nigerian system, what other system are you looking for? The truth is that many competent people do not want to go into politics. It is too risky.”
“Because really, on second thoughts, I pity the woman. To rise so far and to fall so heavily.”
“I don’t think she is feeling that hurt. She is a hair dresser. Hair dressers are used to getting into fights and moving on. They will fight and utter threats but when the next customer ambles along, they will put a smile on their faces and go for their articles of trade.”
“We are talking about governance, about the big stage, not some funny beauty parlour. The personal lesson for Etteh is that Nigeria is not a beauty parlour. It is serious business.”
“May be now that the woman is no longer the Speaker, she can set up a hair dressing salon close to the National Assembly.”
“She may get something better than that. Don’t be surprised if she shows up later as the Chairperson of a House Committee.”
“The committees have been constituted”
“They could be re-constituted now that a new Speaker is in the chair.”
“Dimeji Bankole”
“I only hope he too has learnt the lessons of Etteh’s fall”
“He is another Egba man”
“Meaning what?”
“Well, I hear is not from Owu”.
donne4real | November 26, 2007
